Making Space for Mixed Feelings at the Start of a New Year
The start of a new year is often framed as a fresh beginning. Full of excitement, motivation, and hope. But for many people, especially those who’ve had a difficult or emotionally complex year, this transition can feel heavy instead of energizing. If you’re carrying grief, exhaustion, uncertainty, or even numbness alongside hope, you’re not doing the new year “wrong.” You’re being human.
It’s possible to want something better while still mourning what you’ve lost. It’s possible to feel relief that a year is over and sadness about what didn’t turn out the way you hoped. Mixed feelings don’t cancel each other out, they coexist.
When the New Year Brings More Pressure Than Relief
January often comes with an unspoken message: reinvent yourself. Social media fills with resolutions, productivity goals, and promises to become a “better” version of who you are. While intention-setting can be meaningful, this kind of pressure can quietly harm mental health, especially for those already feeling burnt out, grieving, or emotionally stretched thin.
The idea that you need to overhaul yourself can reinforce shame, self-criticism, and the belief that who you are right now isn’t enough. It can make rest feel like failure and uncertainty feel like weakness. For many people, especially those who’ve spent years surviving or adapting, this pressure can be overwhelming rather than motivating.
A gentler alternative is setting intentions rooted in self-compassion instead of self-improvement. Rather than asking, “How should I change?” you might ask, “What do I need more of?” That could be rest, boundaries, honesty, support, or patience with yourself. Intentions don’t have to be loud or measurable to be meaningful, they can simply be about how you want to treat yourself as you move forward.
Reflecting on Change Can Bring Big Feelings
As one year ends and another begins, reflection often happens naturally. You may find yourself thinking about how much has changed. Relationships that ended or evolved, parts of yourself you’ve discovered or had to let go of, goals that shifted, or versions of the future that no longer feel possible.
Some of these reflections may bring pride, relief, or joy. Others may bring grief, anger, or longing. Even positive change can carry loss with it. Becoming more yourself can mean saying goodbye to people, roles, or dreams that once felt important. And it’s okay if that hurts.
Allowing space for both happiness and grief honors the full truth of your experience. You don’t need to label changes as “good” or “bad” for them to be real and impactful.
Hope Doesn’t Have to Be Loud
Hope doesn’t always look like excitement or certainty. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s simply choosing to stay, to keep going, or to be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to have clarity, goals, or a plan to be moving forward.
At the start of a new year, it’s enough to focus on what you need right now: steadiness, grounding, connection, or rest. Growth can look like slowing down. Healing can look like acknowledging how tired you are.
How Therapy Can Support You in the Year Ahead, Without Changing Who You Are
Therapy doesn’t require you to reinvent yourself or become someone new. Instead, it offers space to better understand who you already are and what you’ve been carrying. In a world that often pushes constant growth and productivity, therapy can be a place where you don’t have to perform or “fix” yourself.
Working with a therapist can help you process grief, navigate transitions, and make sense of mixed emotions without judgment. It can support you in setting intentions that feel authentic rather than imposed, and in building coping tools that align with your values and lived experiences. Therapy isn’t about becoming a different person, it’s about feeling more grounded, empowered, and connected to yourself as you move through change.
Giving Yourself Permission to Feel It All
Making space for mixed feelings means letting yourself feel without rushing toward resolution. It means resisting the urge to force optimism or minimize pain. You are allowed to grieve what you didn’t get. You are allowed to feel hopeful and afraid at the same time. You are allowed to begin this year exactly where you are.
This year doesn’t need a new version of you. It just needs space for the one who’s already here.
Why Choose Self Embrace Therapy
At Self Embrace Therapy, we offer a safe and inclusive therapeutic space where you can find your voice, share your story, and experience the healing power of vulnerability.
A Personalized Approach: My therapeutic approach is grounded in the belief that your healing journey is unique. I tailor my approach to meet your specific needs.
Inclusive, Affirming Care: As a therapist who identifies as lesbian, I understand the significance of creating an environment that welcomes individuals of all diverse identities and sexual orientations. My research and practice are rooted in sexual and gender diversity, ensuring my LGBTQ+ community receives affirming and compassionate care.
A Collaborative Journey: In our collaborative work together, I will guide you towards insights that lead to a deeper understanding of yourself, your relationships, and your ability to advocate for yourself.
Contact me today to schedule a consultation and begin your journey towards growth and self-discovery.
